I am overwhelmed with the messages I've had over recent years regarding my NLD. I wish I had better advice but truth is, I have no idea what I've done for my NLD to be a 'success story'. I still heavily believe it's luck. An old friend always used to refer to me as his 'little rabbit foot'. This may very well be the last post I do about NLD, as I don't have much to offer these days. I even debated whether this post was worth it. Looking back at the blog from five years ago, thinking about the dozens of people who have messaged in those years, I can see now it is. This is blog 4 about NLD, to read the others click here. In blog 3 I discuss what think may have helped, it might be worth checking out. time.I think one of the critical things to remember in my journey is time. This didn't happen over night. Six years ago, I was sat in a GP's office being told I had this condition and that it would never get better. I tried every single trick in the book. I took vitamins, I used different oils and creams, I ate different foods. The one thing I didn't ever try, was wrapping my leg in a banana peel. (Yes, that's a thing). Whatever stage you are currently at, I know it hurts. I know it doesn't feel like it's ever going to get better. It drains on you mentally. Even if the NLD isn't that bad at the time, it's the constant anxiety and pressure that it's only ever going to get worse and feeling like it's your fault. Acceptance. First and foremost, it's not your fault. I was once told NLD had nothing to do with the control of my diabetes. I never really believed it because let's face it, BG control has an effect on everything we do. What I should have been told is... Diabetes is one son of a nutcracker to live with. You'll have good days and bad days but as long as you wake up in the morning and give it your best shot, you're doing great. You're living with a chronic health condition which is 24/7, all you can do is try and if it throws you shit, keep going. t'interwebs.The best thing to come out of me writing these blogs is people feeling like they have someone to talk to and I implore you to find other people online. I would recommend the Beyond Type One app, a great place for connecting with other T1D's. Also people on Instagram, you'll find a few of us on there with NLD. When I started looking online, I found a Facebook group for people with NLD. I thought it would be great, I'd get to "meet" people with the same condition, see what treatments they were using and how it was developing etc. I'd open Facebook on my phone and be bombarded with people posting pictures of their ulcerated legs. It did absolutely nothing for my mental health because it was all doom and gloom, I had to unfollow it in the end. Following people with diabetes and NLD can be great. It's nice to connect with people who can relate to what you're going through. However, with all social media there is that down-side. If you're constantly seeing how well other people are doing, if you're having a bad day, it can make you feel terrible. Over time, that builds up. Be mindful of how you're feeling when you see posts, you can always unfollow. Reference pictures.I didn't see the point in taking an update picture today. In my head, I thought my NLD looked exactly the same as two years ago. It doesn't. I still have scars, they're pretty much the same size. The outer ring of the scar is now incredibly pale, the centre is still pink. Therefore on my smaller NLD patches (left leg), they don't even look like they're there. At a glance, my legs look great. However, in certain lights I can still see the reflection of the scars and at certain angles and I can still see where the muscle has worn away at my shins thanks to the steroid cream. (Another reason why it's so important to be careful with pictures and social media you're looking at, it's not always as good as it looks). Don't get me wrong, I know they could be a lot worse and I'm very lucky. Thanks to taking pictures, I can see how far they've actually come, even recently when there isn't much change. Just like a mole you might want to keep an eye on, it's good to have something to reference so you can see the way it's changing. Taking pictures in the early stages of my NLD made me realise how much bigger it was getting and how quickly. If it wasn't for having reference, I might have waited longer to seek help. move on.I cannot even begin to tell you the amount of hours I have wasted on being upset, anxious or annoyed about this stupid condition. It's the hardest thing to emotionally detach yourself from something or someone but try your best to do so, you'll feel one thousand times better for it. I know that's easier said than done. I used to wake up every morning and look at my legs. I'd inspect them to see if they were any worse. I'd spend time moisturising them or cleaning them. I was basically obsessed with them for a while, years even. One day, I woke up and I didn't. The gaps between obsessing got longer. Eventually I'd go a whole day, week, month without even looking or thinking about them. Hopefully one day you can do the same. I feel incredibly lucky to be in the position I am now and as I said earlier, I wish I had more to offer. Following my own advice from my last blog, nowadays, the only thing I do religiously is have suncream on my scars when I'm outside. I often moisturise, especially in summer. I haven't touched Cetraben in a while, maybe I should start using it again weekly. There are no hard and fast rules for chronic conditions, let alone the complications they give us. The most important thing is to keep your head in the right frame of mind and do as we do best, ride that wave.
My message box will always be open for people who have questions or just want to chat.
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